Thursday, December 1, 2011

There is no easy way to begin this post...

There is no easy way to begin this post... I guess I could start things off with a big "I'm sorry." I am sorry for the extreme lack of communication, for the distance between us and for the possibility that I made you feel neglected in any sort of way. It was not for a lack of love. I do love you all, very, very much. You all have made my past year that I have committed strictly to photography as a profession truly rewarding. And your dedication to coming to my blog every few weeks, days or even hours in some cases (Aunt Cathy) is so encouraging. Hence the dramatic apology. I have neglected you. I have let my last post sit at the top of my blog for over two months now with not a peep from me. If you didn't live in my town or know me personally (or have been one of the many people that have hired me as your photographer in the past few months) you may have thought I dropped into the deep chasm of underwater photography never to resurface again. This is indeed not the case. I have come up for air. In fact I have been doing a ton of really cool photography over the past few months that did not involve any water what-so-ever and can't wait to share some of this with you all. Soon. Very soon.

But I really do feel like the next step for me in this post is to ask for your forgiveness and as a gift to you (a.k.a. bribe) I will be trying (trying, being the key word here, don't you just love my non-commital vocabulary) to give you all a blog update daily (or every other day) throughout December leading up to Christmas.

And if that doesn't help in your decision to forgive me I can now offer a string of incredibly insufficient and overly dramatic excuses. Here goes...

1. I've been insanely busy. (I never feel comfortable offering this as an excuse as I do not have children. And all of you parents out there are either curling your lip at this excuse or deliriously giggling in your own sleep deprivation over the absurdity of it. Right, I know, this is all relative and I will be giggling in my own delirium one day in the future every time I hear this excuse from anyone without kids.)

2. I struggle with perfectionism. (You see, ever since I started "full time" in photography and updating my blog "semi" regularly I hear from you all on facebook and in the grocery store that you checked out my blog and I panic. Oh boy, people are actually looking at this thing and some people even go as far to read my incredibly long-winded, rambling posts. I started putting WAY too much pressure on myself. The weight of choosing the images, pairing them together in clever and profound juxtapositions, and including a commentary that surprises, delights and evokes emotion as well as tells a parallel story alongside of the images just became too heavy for me. So I stopped blogging all together. Horrible excuse. I'm getting over it. Just don't expect any of the above in the coming posts.)

3. I've been doing extensive traveling. (Ok, so this is technically true. I have been doing a bit of traveling which really just involved one trip out of the state that was one part business and one part pleasure. I visited clients, and dear friends, the Dowd family in Knoxville in the height of the fall season for some gorgeous family photos, which you will be seeing this month, and for some time catching up with friends, stepping back, taking a breath and re-evalutating things, realizing what was important again. That was a true blessing.)

And if you still find it hard to forgive me after all of this groveling I offer you a single photo, of an adorable Dowd girl, Lucy. We were location scouting around Knoxville which had a plethora of possible beautiful photo spots but we wanted to find the oh-so-perfect one for our Dowd family shoot. We had been eyeing this specific spot for a full day. Just down the road from Lucy's school was an open field of rolling hills and giant hay bales all nestled in colorful fall trees complete with a mountain scape in the distance. It was perfect but we didn't know if we were going to be able to access it. We explained to the girls that we were on a "mission" when we set out that afternoon. As we pulled down the side street and up to a tall fence our hopes were high but diminishing and then there it was, to our right, a wide open gate into "our" field. It was as if the heavens were singing. (Insert angelic chorus here, "Ahhh Ahhh Ahhhhhhhh!") I don't know who was more excited out of all of us. Emily, Edy, Lucy and I poured out of the car, through the gate, and into the setting sun across the rolling hills. Lucy, with her princess backpack in tow, in complete abandon began to run ahead and there I was to capture this image.

10_25_11_Dowd-5_web

This past year in photography has truly been a blessing in the midst of a re-building time for me. This is why I feel so bad that I have neglected you all here on my blog for a bit. You all, my faithful followers, clients and friends mean so much to me. You have no idea how much of a blessing it is to me that you invite me into your family for a bit to tell your beautiful, genuine, real life story. And as unexpected as a year in my hometown has been for me in what I thought was the story of my life I have no doubt that I am right where I need to be right here, right now. I am not quite sure what lies next for me on the horizon. I haven't really given myself the chance to raise my head from the day-to-day to take a peek, but I pray that when God does gently put his hand beneath my chin to lift my eyes to that horizon that I run with such abandon and excitement into the glorious setting sun as Lucy did that fall day in Tennessee.

5 comments:

sarah beth December 2, 2011 at 11:23 AM  

girl. you had me at "there is no easy way"... such a good writer AND stellar photographer! love you!

Aunt Cathy December 2, 2011 at 1:08 PM  

Dangit. You made me cry.....again. THANK YOU for the update. Not that I didn't love the "Hey Ya'll.....". We have actually really bonded over the past few months. But I am so happy you are back, love the words, love the precious little girl and love you. Aunt Cathy.

Kortney Harris December 2, 2011 at 3:47 PM  

Simply beautiful! And you got me there at the end too, made my eyes well up! You're so talented!!! :-)

Anonymous December 3, 2011 at 6:53 PM  

you always do a wonderful job and you can tell you take the time we all love and deserve to have the highest quality of pictures:) thanks for all of your dedication:) and...i'm glad you updated your blog that i do indeed check....MULTIPLE times a day:)

lisa baker December 3, 2011 at 6:53 PM  

sorry that last one was from me, Lisa:)

About Caroline

I decided my destiny was to be an artist at age five when I won an honorable mention in a art competition in kindergarten. Ever since then I have been following a dream that has manifested itself in a variety of rewarding and delightful ways. I have practiced in the field of graphic design for over 8 years and recently acquired my Masters in Graphic Design at NC State University in Raleigh, NC (check out my design portfolio by clicking here if you like). But a passion that has stuck with me ever since I got my hands on my first Nikon camera in my undergraduate art education at Florida State University is photography. The instruction I received there was but a seed in what would develop over the next years of my life. Recently I have begun photographing people in their celebrations of life and could not feel any more blessed to be a part of capturing those memories.

About This Blog

A great american writer once wrote, "If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan my day." EB White penned the thoughts of my own heart. One part of me is a graphic designer working to challenge the world, seeking out problems and striving to create avenues for change. The other part is seeking out the beauties of the world and working to capture them in our memories forever through photography. This is what you will find here. Me enjoying the world. I have been truly fortunate to photograph such incredible people at truly beautiful moments in life. I can only hope that the images I've collected will forever keep alive those thoughts and emotions that swelled in their hearts and minds that day.

If you are interested in having me capture your life moments you can contact me by clicking here.

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